Proposing Reconciliation

One of my students had been close to a friend, but disagreements had turned their relationship into mutual hostility. After a period of hurting one another, she wanted to reconcile. She hesitated because making the first approach required vulnerability, and she feared that the other person might use it to hurt her again. She asked whether she should propose reconciliation.

The consultation produced BI’s second line: “Inner combing. Auspicious for the diviner.” In this application, the relevant meanings of Kan and Li differ from their institutional roles in the main narrative. The concern is the relationship between two people, and the task is to remove what has troubled it.

Kan can represent division and separation, while Kun can represent disappearance. Kan over Kun therefore offers the image of division dissolving. Kan also represents the heart. Transformed L2 is doubled Kan, and the interior Zhen and Gen provide opposing movements, one rising and the other descending. I read this as two hearts approaching and merging into each other.

Hidden L2 is doubled Li. Li can represent a friendly relationship, so the doubled image supports a renewed bond. “Inner combing” then describes work on the resentment, fear, and misunderstanding within the relationship. The line’s favorable judgment concerned her willingness to undertake that inward work and make an approach.

I advised her to propose reconciliation. In the outcome she reported, she opened her heart to the person who had become her adversary, and they restored their friendship. The case shows why the focal question must guide the mapping of the trigrams. The doubled Li that signifies expanding oversight in the main story can signify renewed friendship when the relationship itself is the subject of the inquiry.